 Wedding Practice
We usually think of wedding practice as something you do before the ceremony. But maybe we should think about marriages from the perspective that we are always seeking to improve. A physician or an attorney is said to be practicing their field, not before they enter the occupation, but while they are engaged in the work. In the same way, we, as fallen and sinful people, must be practicing at being better spouses and having better marriages. Maybe you are thinking, “How do we have better marriages?” Well, first let me tell you that affection alone is not enough. What we need is real love that causes us to do the hard things. In the world of real estate the answer is “location, location, location” in the realm of Biblical interpretation or reading comprehension the rule is “context, context, context” and after counseling many couples and a couple of decades of wedded bliss I can tell you that in marriage and relationships the issue is “communication, communication, communication.” Communication is built on two key components. The first key is that content must be expressed. If no message is being sent, then no genuine communication can happen. For us to have better communication, especially in our homes and marriages, we must focus on expressing ourselves clearly and coherently. The other necessary aspect of communication is receiving the message that has been sent. This means practicing good listening skills. If we desire to have more harmonious homes and deeper relationships, then we must listen with the attention and intention to know what was actually said. Sadly miscommunication is at the core of so much hardship and heart ache in many homes and marriages. Using our good communication skills we then must have the confidence and the vulnerability to talk about every portion of our lives. We must communicate to our spouse about our fears, our dreams, and our priorities. A marriage is not a joint venture or a mere partnership but a covenantal unity that cannot be undone or dissolved. In the first marriage in the garden of Eden, Adam said she is my bone and my flesh (Genesis 2:18-24). Also God Himself pronounced them one flesh and the Lord Jesus said that what God has joined let man not separate (Matthew 19:6). But why should we work so hard to have strong marriages? Let me give you three reasons. First, God has given you a precious gift in your relationship with your spouse. Imagine that you were given a delicious pie as a gift from your grandmother. You decide that you aren’t really hungry now so you will save it for later. But you end up simply leaving it in the fridge till it is spoiled and must be thrown out. You received the gift but you didn’t really enjoy the blessing. The Lord has given you a gift but you must enjoy it! Secondly, to not give effort and intention to your covenant relationship is to rob others. Certainly when we do not seek to have God honoring Biblical marriages we are robbing the people in our community, especially our in church, of the testimony that a godly marriage brings. Even more so we are depriving our extended family and especially our children of the blessing of a godly marriage. But most of all we are stealing the covenantal blessings that God gives in marriage from our spouse with whom we have unitied our lives. Finally, we should seek to have strong Biblical marriages for God’s glory. In Ephesians 5, Paul is clear that earthly marriages are a reflection of the relationship between Jesus and His bride, the church. Men we must love our wives sacrificially just as Christ does the church. Wives, you must respect and honor your husband, rightly reflecting the beauty of the church. Christ loves His bride! Jesus gave Himself up to save the church and to make the holy and pure. Let us not fall into the cheap frivolous view of marriage promoted by our culture but rather honor marriage as what it really is the greatest typological picture of the gospel. Let me urge you that if you are far from Christ, He is ready to welcome you when you come to Him with humble repentant faith. He will give you full salvation, sanctification, and ultimately glorification forever!
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