Self

Ego

Who am I? This is crucial at the very heart of our human psyche. The question is important because it is about how we perceive and understand ourselves. Most people look to others to help them answer this question. We often look to our family, community, ethnicity, or social groups to help us answer this question. The prominent place that social media has taken in most people’s lives is evidence of this, not only as a trend, but a fundamental reality.

But should we be basing our answer to this question on these external factors? I believe that the answer is both yes and no. In the yes column, we need to understand that social motivation is a necessary part of sanity. The idea that a person should just be themselves regardless of what that means to others, individually and corporately, is not only selfish but unsustainable. There are thoughts that you and I have that should not be said. I am not saying that we should seek to be conformists to everything in our culture, for the Apostle Paul said that we should not be conformed to the pattern of this world (Romans 12:2). But Paul was not saying that we should throw out all behavioral norms. Instead, he was referring to patterns of sin and worldly philosophies. We have a name for people who genuinely do not care what other people think. They are sociopaths. 

However, in the no column, the most fundamental answer to this question about ourselves cannot be fully answered by looking to other individuals or groups. We need that community to support us and help us, but we also must know ourselves.

Self Deception

The first thing that we need to realize is that we can lie to ourselves. We can deceive ourselves into thinking that we are something that we are not. This can happen in at least two ways. 

We could interpret everything that happens to us and that is done by us in such a way that we believe that we are the consummate hero of our own story. In this scenario, the problem is that we spin the relevant facts to our advantage, in order to protect our inflated self ego. 

The other way that we can deceive ourselves is more debasing and sinister. We can deceive ourselves by making ourselves the victim in every encounter and the consummate underdog. In this situation, we consider ourselves to be deserving of a better life. This drives so much of the dissatisfaction, depression, and despair that is rampant in our world today. We must become people who are self suspicious enough to guard against our own self deception.

Self Awareness

This kind of self suspicion is to lead us to be aware of who we really are. Reflection on our lives is not a bad thing unless it becomes a never ending spiral. The point of self reflection is not to just keep navel gazing but to understand what is true about us and our lives so that we can turn our focus away from ourselves to others. We need to search our hearts and know ourselves.

But we need help! We need someone who is closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). We need someone who can search our hearts and find everything that needs to be removed from our lives (Psalm 139:23-24). 

The point is that we need to find ourselves in Christ. We should not define who we are according to the standard of the world around us, but neither should we be defined by what is in us. We must be defined by the one who made us! And it is Him who is remaking into new people (2 Corinthians 5:17). The reality is that we are not personally or collectively at the center of reality or meaning. So our meaning and value is defined by our relationship to the one who is at the center of all things. Since it is the Lord who is the point and focus of all existence and meaning then our lives are about His purposes and His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31)!

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