 Ordered Loves
A couple of weeks ago, Vice President J. D. Vance stirred up some headlines by talking about the need for us to understand that it is right and appropriate for people to love some people more than other people. I’m not completely sure of the specifics of the context in which he was speaking, but I thought this might be a helpful subject for us to think about, especially today. The concept is called in Latin “Ordo Amoris” meaning “the order of loves.” This is not actually a difficult concept. For example, I love babies. I have always loved babies. However, when my own children were born the affection that I had for them as infants far exceeded the general feelings I have for all babies. It is right for us to have priority and loyalty in the way that we love the people in our lives. No Favorites But someone might argue that we are not supposed to be partial. Partialism is a very serious sin (James 2:1-12). The difference is that the sin of partialism is the bias of showing mercy or favor for certain classes of people while extending those favors or benefits to others for selfish or greedy reasons. The sin of partialism is rooted in unjust judgement not the proper prioritization of affection. Our Loves So what should be the order of loves for us as believers in Jesus Christ? I think that it will serve us best if we work our way from the least to the greatest or from the outside in. So we might start with the fact that as redeemed image bearers we should have a kind of general love for all of humanity that is motivated by our Biblical view of creation. By this statement I mean that we ought to have a genuine care and concern for the well being and flourishing of all people. After all this is a part of our motivation to get the gospel out to every people group so that they may be saved. Of course this kind of care is not the kind of personal attachment and connection that we usually mean when we use the term love but it is a kind or category of love. But the commands of King Jesus will not leave the relatively unknown masses of humanity and proceed directly to those close and compatible relationships that we endearingly refer to as “loved ones.” The next category in the order of loves for the Christian is our enemies. Remember, Jesus taught us that in the economy of His kingdom we must love our enemies, pray for our persecutors, and endure all sorts of hardships and inconveniences for the conversions of our enemies (Matthew 5:38-48). Next, we ought to love those who are lost and known to us. By this I am saying that we ought to have a genuine burden for the salvation of lost people in our own community, especially those who we know personally. These may not be close relationships but our concern for them must be more than just local or civic pride. These people, whose faces and names we know, will one day be with us in glory or separated from God forever in hell. So we ought to be motivated by that severe reality to have a true compassionate heart for these folks (1 Corinthians 9:20-23). Next, we ought to have a special love for our own extended family members and friends, especially those who are believers. It is not tribalism to have a bond with those who are a part of your own family. These are your people and in the providence of God they have an enduring connection to you, your past, and your life. Now, you may have thought that I missed a category. Bro. Eddie, should we love the church and especially our local church? Yes we should! But I am placing that above our extended family. Outside of our closest family members and of course our spouse, our brothers and sisters in the church should be our closest community. These are the people with whom we have entered into a covenant of love and devotion (John 13:33-34). The New Testament texts are too numerous to mention. But Jesus loves His church and so must we (Ephesians 5:25-32). Next, we ought to prioritize our love for our immediate family. Primarily, I am referring to our children and our spouse. Parents, God has blessed us with children and we ought to love them with the same nurture, instruction, discipline, and merciful grace that God has for us. In this way we love them well and point them to Jesus in a healthy and constructive way (Ephesians 6:4). But above every other human relationship on the planet we must love our spouses. As noted above this covenant relationship is a picture of Christ’s relationship with his church. Husbands, we must sacrificially love our wives just as Jesus sacrificed for us. Also, wives you must respect and submit to your husband as worship to God. This is pleasing to God and a powerful testimony to the gospel. God’s Love God also has an order to His love. Many people wrongly conclude that God is required to love all people in the same way. However, in the Bible, it is clear that God does not love everyone the same. He loves people according to the relationship He has chosen to establish with them. The Bible tells us how God has instrumentally extended His love to the peoples of the world through the work of Jesus on the cross for the salvation of all believers (John 3:16-17). However, the Bible is also clear that God loves His people in a special way (Ephesians 1:3-6). Jesus not only established this relationship but carries it through to glorification (Romans 8:29-39). Finally, God loves God! What I mean is that the highest, best, purest love is the love of God and it is perfectly expressed between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit! The connections and distinctions with the one being of God and between the three persons of God are difficult to express accurately because of the limitations of our human facilities. But let us make no mistake, the best and highest love is both the love of God and love for God! Happy Valentine's Day!
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