 Parenting
When my wife and I were just beginning our parenting journey, we met a family who were just finishing the school years with their youngest child. Their children ranged from 18 to maybe 22. These young people were very impressive. They possessed maturity, manners, and dignity that is rarely seen among peers in that age range. This family was one of the first homeschool families I had ever spent significant time around and definitely the only homeschool family that I knew with adult children. This was significant because as we considered what the education of our own children would look like, they provided a positive example of what the outcome could be. However, the reason that I am telling you about this family is not because of the example of homeschooling. These were committed Christians who sought to honor the Lord with the stewardship of raising their children. I began to try to pay attention to the lessons that I could learn from them. One day, I heard from the father one of the most important principles that I have tried to employ in raising my sons. He said something like this, “We didn’t raise boys, we raised men.” Of course this principle also applies to raising daughters to be mature women, but in this post I want to focus on some keys that must be instilled in sons if we are to raise men in the modern age. Humility First, we must teach our sons to possess a kind of humility that will push them to strive to live for a real purpose, cause them to recognize blessings with genuine gratitude, and allow them to have a heart ready to receive grace from God (1 Peter 5:5-6). This kind of humility is modeled after Christ and will only be achieved through the work of the Holy Spirit (Philippians 2:1-13). As Christian parents, we ought to make it our priority to use both the instruction and the culture in our home to lead our sons to be humble men. Honesty Next, we must train our boys to be honest men. One of the greatest deceptions of sin is that we come to believe that the only way to succeed or prosper is through deception. The reality is that our children are not a blank slate when they are born into this world. Since they are the children of sinners, they will have to be taught how to deny the impulse to deceive and instead practice truth telling, especially when it is difficult. Our children must be taught that while lying may appear to be a shortcut, honesty is a sure path for the long road to life. Blessing really is promised for the honest (Proverbs 24:26) while judgment awaits all liars (Revelation 21:7-8). Hard Work If we are going to train our sons to be men then we must give them the gift of a strong work ethic. For far too long the motto to work “smarter and not harder” has been misused and misapplied. I think that when this phrase was first brought into common usage the idea was to work smarter so that one could be more productive and efficient. But I am afraid that for many years, maybe even decades, the idea has become that the goal is to avoid hard work. But the scripture would certainly give us clear instructions that we should work hard (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12). Honorable Finally, we must instill in our young men a sense of honor and respect. It is important for them to learn that people who give honor and show respect become people who receive honor and respect. It is an interesting irony that the boastful and arrogant people who so often demand to be respected are the least honorable while the humble and dignified people seem to attract true respect (2 Timothy 2:20-22). So parents, let me encourage you to keep the goal in mind. Whether your children are eight months old, eight years old, or eighteen years old; you are not raising children, you are raising men and women!
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