Friends Forever

Fellowship

God has so fashioned humanity that we long for human connection and companionship. This is a feature of our being, made in the image of the triune God, who has enjoyed the eternal communion of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Since we are made in the image of God, who is community, we also are made for relationships. For example, when God made man, His good and complete creation was in making them both male and female. People were made to be communal, complementary, and compatible. 

Of course, some people require more time together and others need more alone time, but no one is really okay with total isolation. As a matter of fact, solitairy confinement is a genuine form of punishment and even torture. The point is that we are made to be together. The way that society and civilization function is dependent on human interaction. It is not good for humans to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Since this is the case, God has given us particular spheres of connection as gifts for our flourishing. Consider these in an ascending order of importance: the global community, your own national citizenship, your state identification, your local county, your city or town of residence, your church, your family, and your marriage. Notice that the importance gets greater as the groups get smaller and more intimately connected to your life.

Comradery

But what is it that really forms the bonds of these relationships? Especially the closer and deeper ones? Many different factors probably contribute to how these connections are made. I’m sure psychologists and sociologists have spent countless hours and resources on this very question, but I would like to posit some possible contributions to the answer.

First, many times close and enduring bonds come from some shared experience or challenge. You can see this on a macro level when the citizens of a large city or even a country are unified after a major disaster or calamity. However, this is also true in closer relationships. Families experience these kinds of bonds in the shared functioning of the home. Everything from family meals and annual vacations to dealing with serious illness and struggles can form connections between siblings and parents with their children.

Second, we form close connections with others with whom we share important identification. In the more intimate relationships this is seen in that we as families share a name. As church members we also share the reality that we belong to Christ and to one another. We are covenant people! To belong to others in a covenant relationship means that we really do have privileges and responsibility to one another that are different from those who are not in the covenant group.

The final point of comradery that I would like to emphasize in this post is the point of belief. We tend to build strong relationships with those with whom we share important beliefs. I do not mean that we should not be able to have friendships, even deep relationships, with people who have different beliefs than us. However, at the point of worldview and the basic understanding of what is true, we must have some agreement. Oftentimes we refer to this as being with like minded people. My point is that if my true conviction is that the Bible really is the Word of God and the greatest revelation of truth then I am going to be able to build strong relationships with other people who believe that also. If we genuinely believe that Jesus is God and that He really did rise from the dead then that really should set us apart from those who do not believe in Christ.

Pals

God has called us to be holy (1 Peter 1:13-16). But we must realize that holy means “set apart”. This means that holiness will often mean being estranged from the majority group or from the popular people. But God has not called us to be totally alone. Rather He has made for us a people, it could be a relatively small group, but this group consists of the others who have been set apart because they also have experienced God’s grace. Likewise they have been and are identified with Christ and His people. These are the ones who share both the mind (1 Corinthians 2:16) and heart of Christ (Ephesians 3:14-19). 

Jesus Himself told His disciples they were not merely servants but His friends (John 15:12-17). If you are reading this and you don’t yet have Jesus as your closest friend then I would invite you to enter into the covenant relationship that Christ has for you. The Bible is clear that Jesus has promised that everyone who comes to Him He will not cast out (John 6:37). If you will turn from your sin and yourself and trust in Christ He will receive you into His covenant family forever!

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